Monday, September 24, 2012

Once a fatty....{Daily Diaries}

Ok, Ladies. Now that you have gotten to know the blog, and what we are all about, it's time we share with you how we came to be the women we are today.  I want to share with you my story, a part of my life that is a HUGE piece of me, and maybe some of you can relate, and others can just cheer me on.

As a kid I was on all kinds of ADHD medications, that as a side affect gave me a suppressed appetite. I was extremely skinny until I got off the meds, which happened to be my 9th grade year. I went from having a suppressed appetite and never having to worry about what I ate, to having an endless appetite and packing on the pounds. By the time I reached high school I was overweight. I was a sophomore and a size 14(I am also 5ft 10in so it balanced a little). I hated it. I hated my body, I felt very insecure. I joined the swim team to try and stay active, but I was self conscience about being in my swim suit around boys because I already had stretch marks on my inner thighs, so I rarely went to class. I never got asked out, only went to 1 high school dance and it was a girls choice.

Fast forward to summer after high school graduation. I was still the same size, but something about being out of high school just sparked a new life into me. I owned my body. I felt sexy, sassy, and like I could get any guy I wanted, and I did. I dated like MAD. I had a few steady boyfriends here and there, but for the most part I was living the life of a young single adult, NCMO's(non committal make out) all over the place. But somewhere, the weight still bothered me.

Fast forward to 2008. I met Jason. The hubs. We got hitched. I thought for sure that after I got married, after I had a man who loved me no matter what my weight was, that all the weight insecurities would cease. Wrong. They were still there and started to surface more. a couple months after I got married, I had enough. I was done being fat. I couldn't stand it anymore. We lived in an apartment complex that had a small fitness center, 2 treadmills, an elliptical, a bike, a Bowflex, and a tiny 20 inch tube TV mounted to the wall. It didnt matter that it wasn't fancy, I was in there at least 5 days a week.

I decided not to weigh myself for at least a month. We didn't even own a scale! Finally a month had passed. I nervously stepped on my new shiny scale...down 21 pounds! I could not believe it. I had never been anywhere close to successful at losing weight before. That was it. I was hooked. Cardio and Pilates became the norm. I went from 208 lbs and a size 16/18 to 154 lbs and a size 10(remember, I am 5ft 10in). I really wanted to get under 150, but at 154 my hip and collar bones were poking out, so I didn't want to start looking TOO skinny, ya know? I was in love with my life. I was finally who I wanted to be, and I loved it. I even went to my 5 year high school reunion and felt amazing.

Before and After for your viewing pleasure:
UNDONE: weight loss before and after

UNDONE: weight loss before and after
Fast Forward to April 2011. I had my first baby. Shit. Pardon my french, but there is nothing that wrecks your body quite like shooting a human out of it. I was not prepared for it. I was immediately depressed. I could not believe I was fat again!! How could I let this happen?! Due to an injury from a car accident I wasn't able to work out past 20 weeks, so I gained a ridiculous 80 lbs. Fast Forward to November 2011, I had lost only about 30 pounds of the baby weight, pathetic. I got pregnant, AGAIN. I gained back those 30 pounds and a few more. Ridiculous.

Present day. I have lost all my baby weight from pregnancy #2 and am now working on the 50 lbs left from baby #1. I have never disclosed the actual numbers like this, because it's disgusting to me, but you've gotta hold yourself accountable for what you have done, if you are going to change it.

Through my journey I will be updating you here and there on how its going, I am sure. But mostly I want to do this, on this platform, to hold myself publicly accountable.

Its my life.
Its now, or never.

(I may have been listening to a little too much Bon Jovi...)


Alli said...

Way to be honest and open! I gained 40 lbs with my first and I just had my second baby last week. I didn't gain much at all with my second but I've still got that pesky 40 hanging onto me. I need to get motivated!

Tammie Hess said...

I'm proud of your determination! You're amazing. Everyone gains and loses differently. Don't be too hard on yourself!

Adrienne said...

I'm 5'10 and have 3 kids. With my last I was up to 230lbs. I was 155 in high school. I love that you are all doing this blog.

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