Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Postpartum Depression {Daily Diaries}

I have been struggling with the decision to post about this or not. This is hard for me to talk about since I try to stay positive, up beat and fun to be around,  But I finally came to the conclusion that it is not something that anyone should be ashamed about. I have also learned that sometimes we just need to know there is someone else in the world that is going through the same thing. That has the same feelings. Same Trials. To know we are not alone and that is why today I am getting very undone and very Real. I am Whitney and I suffer from Depression and Postpartum Depression. I say both because they are different and I have had to go through them both at different times. This is not a post to be all negative and sad, or to get pity this is to educate, to give someone the hope they need and to be real. Lets start from the beginning.

Looking back now I think I have suffered from depression for a long time. Throughout my teen years for sure. I didn't really know that is what it was at the time. I thought it was normal and I thought if I called it depression that was just an excuse and not even a real thing. Fast forward to a doctors appointment I had before I got married. After the routine visit was done the Doctor asked me if there was any other questions or anything else that I needed to talk to her about. I wasn't going to bring it up. I felt dumb. Ashamed. But for some reason of all the times I had been to the doctor this one time I finally had a moment of courage and decided to tell her what I was feeling. We got into a good discussion. She told me this what nothing to be embarrassed about, and that it is a very real thing that people, including me. have to deal with. She gave me a lot of options and we finally decided on me trying out a very mild medication. It helped and I think it was very right for me at the time. That is not the best option for everyone but it was for me at that very specific time in my life. After taking the medication for about a year I decided it was time to stop and see what happened if I tired other methods such as having me time (quiet time to really sort out my feelings, mediate if you will), and to exercise. Exercising has been the best method for me as of to date. When I am not fresh from having a baby exercise is what makes me feel my best. When exercise is a regular part of my life I feel happier, and the anxiety and depression are much more manageable. I don't think it will ever go away, it is something I will probably have to deal with my entire life, but I am able to manage it.

Now onto the subject of Postpartum. I have heard people say this is just the baby blues, or just a cry out for attention but I am here to tell you it is very real. The baby blues are real too and very common but postpartum is beyond the baby blues. I had it with my first baby and I felt dumb and didn't really know what it was so I didn't talk to anyone for a while. I finally did and I am so glad because I was able to get through my days, I was able to enjoy my baby and I was able to do what I needed to do to take care of my sweet Maddux. The next time around with Holden I started it even before I had him when I was still pregnant so I told my Dr. right away and he put me on the medicine right when I started feeling the same way. I wanted to enjoy my sweet babies, I wanted the crying all day long over nothing to stop, and I wanted the pain to stop and for me the medication worked. With Maddux I was able to ween off of it when he was a year old so I am hoping I will be able to do that again this time around. I am enjoying my babies, my emotions are under control and I am able to be the happier me that I want to be. Do not be afraid to talk to someone about it. Know you are not alone. If you feel like you don't have anyone to talk to about this you can always talk to me. I have been through it. I can listen. You can email me any time ( or call me. I know what it feels like to need someone to talk to so I would love to be there for you.

For those of you suffering from depression talk to someone. For those of you who are not, be there for those who are and be sensitive to their condition. 

I have my good days and I have my bad. I have many blessings and I have trials like everyone else. This is mine and I am learning how to deal with it the best I can. I learn from it and to press forward with a positive out look on life. I try to focus on the positive and all the many goods and blessings I have in my life. My life is blessed. I am enduring.


Adrienne said...

Thanks for sharing. Having dealt with depression for years I am so thankful for anyone who is willing to speak up and help others understand. I have 3 beautiful children that have helped me so much in understanding how important it is to keep fighting against those dark clouds. You're not alone.

Hailey said...

I really admire you for sharing this piece of you. I know how hard it can be to "say it out loud". You absolutely aren't alone. I have depression and pregnancy always makes it more difficult.

Katherine Stone @postpartumprog said...

Thank you for sharing your story! I'm sure it will help other moms in your community who probably thought they were alone!

Tiffany Renee said...

You're such a tough lady Whit! I was really depressed with Parker, and I found the hardest part was talking about it! It takes so much courage, at least for me anyway, to ask your doctor for help. I don't know what it is, maybe it's just embarrassing or just so personal that you don't what to talk to a stranger about it. I didn't really want to talke to ANYONE about it. Way to be proactive and take control of your life! And super high five for being so brave to talk about it and share your experience!

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