Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Celebrate The Success of Others

If you don't already know I love the Utah lifestyle show called Studio 5. It is awesome not only do they show a lot of crafts, exercise tips, recipes, DIY and gardening tips they also give really good relationship advice and just awesome ways to better yourself. Each month they have a theme. Last month was all about living without pretending. You can read more about that HERE. This month is all about Celebrating the success of others. This month on Studio 5 our goal is to clap, cheer, and acknowledge the things that others do well - both in our hearts and in our actions. Pretty awesome right. I LOVE this. It reminds me to not compare, to be a good friend, to support others and to genuinely be happy for their successes in life whether it be in their career, in their hobby, in their dream, in motherhood or just in life in general, To be happy for them in our hearts and to tell them.

 As women, it is so easy to get caught up in the comparison game, yes, even with your friends. I am guilty of this, I think we all are in some points of our lives. It is hard to be in limbo sometimes I get down and think I wish I had a house like her, I wish I was as talented as her, I wish I was as beautiful as her, I wish I was making as much money as her, I wish my blog was as successful as her, I wish I had as many friends as her, I wish I had all that money to spend on cute clothes like her, and so on. But, I have come to the conclusion that just isn't the way to live. It just hurts me. And it hurts relationships. Be happy for your friends, and they will be happy for your successes in life. I love when my friends cheer for me and are there for me. For example, last week I was able to be on Studio 5 (which is a huge dream of mine and I think a huge success), and my adorable Undone sister Hailey and Tiff came to support me. They were there for me and they cheered for me and it felt amazing. I loved it and I want my friends to feel that love and happiness from me when they are successful and happy. It makes me happy when the people I love are happy, so why not show it and shout it from the roof tops!

Hailey I want to Celebrate your success as an amazing mother, friend and talented hairstylist. You are such an example to me and I am always to proud of everything you do. You make me want to be a better member of the church, a better example and a better friend. I am so grateful to have you in my life.

Tiff I want to celebrate your success as being a beautiful mother and friend. You are one of the most selfless people I know. You are so smart and could be anything you want to be, but you choose to be home with your cute kids. You are so giving and kind, you are always helping someone out I know you have helped me about a million times just the short time we have been friends and I am so happy and grateful for our friendship.

I can't wait to celebrate more of their successes as they come! 

There are more I want to celebrate throughout this month. To follow along check out my instagram or follow the hashtag #celebrateothers

I love what Julie Hanks of Wasatch Family Therapy talked about on Studio 5 today regarding this subject and how to put a stop to comparing with others and start celebrating with others. Here is her article I just had to share:

Why do women compete with one another? Here are a few common reasons that competitive feeling can settle in:
· We compete to cover up our insecurities and self-doubt.
· We compete to try and prove our worth, that we're good enough and lovable.
· We compete because we're afraid that there is a limited supply of love and success.
· We compete because we've grown up competitive culture where there is only one winner.

They key is to end the competition. Here's four ways to do it:

1) Look inside instead of side-to-side for self-worth.
It is human nature to look to others to measure how well we are doing in a certain area, and then judge ourselves, and others, based on how we measure up. We then equate our performance as a measurement of our self-worth.
The areas where we are most competitive with other women are the areas where we feel most insecure about ourselves. Focusing on healing our own insecurities is more fruitful than looking at what others are accomplishing. Once you embrace who you are and your unique callings in life, you can focus on being the best you instead of being better than.

2) Quit comparing.
Whether you realize it or not, someone else's accomplishments, appearance, children's behavior, or the car they drive have absolutely nothing to do with you and your value as a person. Each woman has a unique path, unique talents, and unique challenges. If someone else's child skipped a grade because of his amazing reading skills that doesn't mean that you're a bad mom. If a neighbor loses 20 lbs. in a few months that doesn't mean that you have to. When we compare someone else's successes with our own situation we make it about us, which limits our ability to celebrate with them.
I talked with a dear friend last week about an amazing professional opportunity that had come her way. As we talked and I congratulated her, I noticed a tinge of jealousy and felt my heart sink just a bit. I became aware that I was making her opportunity mean something about me. I'm glad I caught myself. I told her, "I'm so excited for you! I've got to admit I'm a little jealous - I'd love to be in your shoes right now. I am so thrilled for you. Way to go!" By acknowledging that I was comparing, I was able to stop it and fully celebrate her success.

3) Practice an abundance mindset.
Competition is based on the belief that there is not enough success to go around. It feeds an either/or mentality—there's a winner and a loser, I'm good or your good. One way to overcome competition is by practicing an abundance mindset. There is enough success, love, and joy in the world for everyone.
People with a scarcity mentality tend to see everything in terms of win-lose. There is only so much; and if someone else has it, that means there will be less for me. The more principle-centered we become, the more we develop an abundance mentality, the more we are genuinely happy for the successes, well-being, achievements, recognition, and good fortune of other people. We believe their success adds to…rather than detracts from…our lives."
~ Stephen R. Covey

4) Appreciate all things beautiful.
I recently read an inspiring article on called Life Isn't a Beauty Contest: How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Other Women written by O Magazine Beauty Editor Valerie Monroe. Now in her 50's, she shares how she's been able to stop comparing herself to other women by claiming her role as "Appreciator of All Things Beautiful." Instead of succumbing to the critical voice in her head, she readily acknowledges the beauty in others by freely complimenting their beauty.

So Studio 5, and us here at Undone want to hear from you. Whose success could you celebrate? Maybe it's the friend whose children always get straight A's. The sister who gets to go on the trip of a lifetime. Or the college roommate who struck gold with her brilliant idea. Whoever it is, give them a shout-out on Instagram.

1. Write down their name.
2. Snap a photo
3. Post to the Instagram hashtag #celebrateothers

We know that not everybody uses Instagram - and that's okay. Social media is just ONE way to get involved with this month's theme, but there are LOTS of personal ways.

· Speak glowingly about them in conversation with others.
· Recommend their business to a friend.
· Call them up with no other purpose than to let them bask in their good news.
· Cheer them on in your thoughts.
· Drop them a note in the mail.

So how about it?! Come along with us and celebrate your friends and family and loved one's successes!!!! Lets spread the love, joy and feel goods. 

1 comment:

Tiffany Renee said...

Tears in my eyes Whit! You are the sweetest and most amazing friend! Such a good message and lovely post!

Pin It button on image hover